Loss of Faith

I missed last week's church, the first time in years, just a very long while, i don't even think i've missed more than 10 times of church in my whole life, but i feel distant now, there are many modes to switch to, the church mode, the school mode, the love mode, the home mode. So yeah, when i switch into either one of those modes, i don't feel like double moding anyone of the rest anymore. So i got there today and after the session, i got down to give tuition to my tuition kid. He's frustrating more and more, when i walked in, he was drawing loads of rubbish on his paper, some pretty obscene, haiya, but what am i supposed to do. So when i taught him, he was always talking rubbish, and some pretty obscene, so as a result, i always give him that stern no nonsense face and i dunno if that's helping, i dunno how i'm supposed to approach the kid, so this kid is the one of the only few victims in the world that has seen my fierce side, the monitress can turn to a tigeress at any moment she wishes to, just that i choose to be the monitress mostly. So jing yang was complaining that his tuition kids don't bring their textbooks and we don't have any primary five textbooks so he had to resort to teaching them pri 6 stuff, and he does not want to scold them cause we're giving free tuition anyway, lol, so i was wondering if i should just be nice to my kid, not that i'm not, but just that i'm stern, and his english has definitely improved since he took up tuition, and sad to say, my english has been deproving, i don't even recall when was the last time i got an A, sometime last year i guess..

Then jy told me he'd be heading today's street evangalism, then i was pretty excited, and pretty afraid at the same time, i dunno, i look forward to it, but i totally hate it, i dunno why, i think interacting with people is fun, strangers are ok, just like when i go to safra, when i challenge guys my age, i do talk to them so that they won't treat me just as some gangster trying to challenge him, and i do make friends from here, i mean, from talking, but in street e, i just can't do it, i never find the ideal guy to ask stuff, they all intimidate me. Today's street e was just to let them do surveys. And when we got to aljunied mrt, i wasn't even doing anything, just tagging along, i guess i realise why its easier for girls to do street e, cause most girls are decent, i guess, but boys, haiya, i only look for guys with the really decent face, i daren't approach others, thats why its really difficult for me, beacause there aren't many nice guys out there.

i'm tired, i still have to head to sch early tomorrow to do a documentary on pottery?? Yeah, followed by physics extra lessons, then i have to head back to church at 4 for a meeting, and there are many extra lessons that follow throughout this week. It isn't much of a holiday, no one expected it to be one.

I hate boring posts, especially this one, enjoy your holidays!