Anger and Hatred

I've sinned today. Let's start from the beginning. Today, when the fire drill rang, me and latif lined up outside the classroom. He was talking to me and he leaned on the fire extinguished, all of a sudden, the fire extinguisher went off, it sprayed the back of his head, at that time, we felt that it was some stupid joke, and laughed it off. Then, after that, everything went back to normal again. Yeah, we had a great PE, finally got to play soccer, against 2e1, we won, 8-5, i scored 6, but i don't take credit, i've been actually doing nothing on the field, just staying up, waiting fot them to run and run and pass the ball to me, all i did was to do the finishing and gain their credit, so i do not deserve any credit at all, anyone could have scored 6, but tomorrow we'll play real soccer. So anyway, the day passed normally, yeah, we had the physics test after school which we all failed, although i still bear hope of passing. Then came the after test part. We were at the pool table teaching the sec 1s, when they left, the table was ours, then ms tuan called me to go to the general office, i thought i was called to help her carry stuff. Then in the office, ms tuan told me she told mr foo about the fire extinguisher, she told me that she told mr foo out of concern, because at that time, the pin was gone. So i was glad to offer help again, latif was called to be interrogated by mr foo, and when i went in with latif, he told me to get out, cause he wanted to talk to latif first, ok, so no manners, i can deal with that. I was called because i was an eyewitness. Then long later, mr foo walked out and handed me a paper, he told me to write whatever i saw on that piece of paper, ok, nothing much, so i obliged like a good citizen. Yeah, i wrote exactly what happened, and waited another long long while. Then i went into the general office to check, and ms tuan came in too. She went to check on latif, and she told me Latif was crying, she said mr foo had placed all the blame on latif, i help up my hands in disbelief, then i told ms tuan, but he hasn't seen what i had written what, how can he accuse him? Of course at this point, i was already burning with injustice, i wanted to prove to mr foo. Ms tuan told me she had to leave, and to tell me to tell latif that she believed latif and told me to console him. I could live with that, ok, so i walked out, then mr foo came out to see me. I handed him my paper, he read, and he scolded me. He said i was hiding things from him because i am his friend, he said YOU'ALL were at fault for this thing, he said do you guys have to wait for injuries to happen before you report? Because i wrote no one was hurt. At that point, i exploded. I raised my hands and my voice, i was in total disbelief, how could that man do this? I said, then what's the point of calling me here? Might as well put a cctv to see what happens, you weren't there, i was there, what makes you think i'm hiding things from you? You called me here to be the eyewitness, i gave you what i saw, and you scold me from hiding things from you? I'm the next best thing to the CCTV, so why don't you just install one? Why did you waste my time waiting? Of course, i was infuriated, no one could have understood how i felt, the sense of injustice, my best friend was sitting in the room, he was the scapegoat, he was being blamed for something he didn't do. Then mr foo said, why did he lean on the fire extinguisher? You know its there and yet you leaned on it? I scolded mr foo, he walked away. I turned to my friends and i said the f word, i shouldn't have, i reached my boiling point, my anger could not be contained any longer, there's a constant boiling point, no more higher, it reached that point and i naturally exploded! I sincerely apologise for my bad behaviour, i stopped my habit since sec 1, i never used it, till now. I was infuriated, c'mon! Latif was merely at the wrong place at the wrong time! What mr foo was trying to say was that we should do everything the ONE RIGHT WAY. Its as good as saying you shouldn't sit at the side of the bench because the centre of mass isn't there, the bench might topple under your weight! So everytime we sit, sit in the middle, NEVER SIT AT THE SIDE! What logic is that? Who on earth has said that?

Mr foo lied, we were right, he was lying about what we did, we were right, we were right. He blamed us, i wanted to confront him, they were still in the office, i wanted to tell him to do it the right way, he was way unreasonable. Its as good as saying a bird was doing business on a tree, but i leaned against the tree and the tree tilted over mr foo's car, then instead of the road, the excreta landed on his car, and we get blamed for that. Logical? Reasonable? We've been maligned,blamed, the scapegoat of someone's crimes, someone's irresponsible doings. What Mr Foo did was wrong, when he first saw me, the monitor, i knew he knew that at least they have the monitor here, more responsible, but when he saw my testimony, he immediately, based on his ''superhuman instincts'' detected a ''big big lie!'' And oh, suddenly, i'm not that credible source of evidence anymore, i'm just an idiot helping him cause he's my darn classmate.

Yes, i was very angry, i couldn't stop cursing, not a lot of F words though, but please, understand my stand, i was really boiling, i was heated up, i was flaming, i would have scolded mr foo really loudly, and i had to vent my anger, he made me start again. I waited for latif, he came out of the general office door, he was crying, he was choking, telling me how he was wronged, he said mr foo blamed everything on him, he didn't have a chance to state his stand, latif could not do anything. He said he was going to call his dad, and might make him pay for the fire extinguisher. I exploded again, i saw mr foo, and i stormed towards him, but latif held me back, he told me he didn't want anymore trouble.

Trouble? What trouble is there? Did we create the trouble? In fact, i think we helped the school a great deal. The fire extinguished was found to be used, latif only managed a small spray, and the extiguisher was finished. If there was a fire, what use would an empty fire extinguisher be to to rescuers? We were blamed for a crime we did not commit, we were unreasonably blamed. Just because we're young, we're kids, we're easy targets. These, men, these adults, can shift their weight anywhere they wish to! We're nothing in their eyes! We're just special excitement, so that someone can get punished! So the school doesn't have to pay for the fire extinguishers! Wrong? What wrong have we done? Have we done anything against our conscience? I wanted to confront him, but the others said to forget it. It shouldn't be, these kinds things shouldn't be forgotten so easily, its not nice to be oppressed even if we're right. Especially over me, i did NOTHING at all, i offered my assistance, not only did he decline my assistance, he seemed to have chased me away, like in a natural disaster, you chase your rescuer away. hahaha, its so funny isn't it? I stood there, i gave him an account of what my own eyes saw, and Mr Foo INSISTED that i was lying! That i was covering for him! hahaha, i guess mr foo is a psychic. What proof does he have to prove that what i'm trying to prove right is wrong? When i have Proof? Forget it, you guys don't share my sense of injustice at the moment, i'm just very heated up. I'll let the matter pass. But so long latif has to bear any punishment, even a detention, i'll confront everyone, even if it has to be Mr Boo, why be afraid? Even if we stand amongst people we think we're wrong, we should still stand up to what we believe to, because, surely, someone out there will believe you, and the biggest confidence you get is not from that someone, its from you, because Mr Foo cannot lie that much, how long can he ''hide'' the truth for? Has he been there? I guess he has, because he was so smart to know i'm wrong.

Yeah, so latif told me that he was afraid that mr foo would call his father and his father wouldn't believe him. So i told him if that ever happens, i'll call his father. Sometimes you just feel that sometimes we have to give up and forget things that happen, and sometimes we have to put aside fear and timidity to stand up for what we believe in..

Anyway, enough of my hero's speech, its been good, memories like these will make latif remember beatty more cleary, or maybe, even fondly. Anyway, we went to KFC, had a great time and left like at 8pm. Tomorrow's a big event, soccer, haha.. Happy funning!