Friday, September 29, 2006

In Need

Friday finally. Everybody's been studying. I, haven't. Monday was eng oral, oh ok, tues, got back the oral results and i got 30, okay, that's okay, but i realised that wasn't okay when i learned sammie got 36... what?? What creature, what monster actually gets a 36 for oral? She's crazy, dunno what she said to her teacher, i guess its either the boys, or its miss james because the highest scored she gave was 31... I don't believe the guys are so far far behind compared to the girls? Lol, okay, i kinda forgot what happened that day, i think i went to safra with just teck siang and it is here where i developed much more liking for snooker, well of course, i found it was much easier to play, i scored my highest that day, 71. Then while going home i was smsing teck telling him how concerned i was over my chinese test result cause that'd determine my chinese standard since so many people failed and only a handful passed, lol, he told me he'd frankly think i'd fail, i didn't blame him, my chi really sucked, but well maybe its cause i always ask him stuff while doing chi compo, which is my weakest link, but i was determined that i'd pass.

On wed, during chi, i got back my paper and i got a 32! Wahaha, i passed! lol, i dunno if it was unfair cause i took it late but c'mon, how could i use the extra time i had to prepare for it? But anyway, i passed. haha. Well i don't remember what i did too that day.

Thurs was chinese oral, oh man, lol, in the room, i began to feel a little jumpy cause chinese is totally unlike oral, i have problems expressing myself in chinese, haiya, what to do, i just went up ahead, and speaking to he lao shi, haiya, the passage was okay but the conversation was sooo, dunno what to say, lol, i just didn't know what and how to say stuff, and i ended up like staring at her blackheads, hahaha, i might even fail, but what to do?

So friday finally came, chinese paper! Well maybe i screwed up paper 1, as i always do, but i have a little confidence in my compo, well i injected several chinese idioms, lol, the best i could do. Then it was the paper 2, finally something i'm good at! Lol, but it was pretty hard, for the cloze passage, i was pretty much guessing the answers, then the rest was pretty easy, the comprehension was just really tiring, and really, staring at words and writing and starting gives me double vision, once again i couldn't see straight after the exam, but me and teck didn't talk much and headed straight for safra.

Today was kinda really really off, i played with kenneth snooker, my goodness, such contrast when i play with teck. Totally off, the mood, the feel, the form. i felt stupid, for the past few days i've been telling them on my interest in buying a snooker cue because i had been playing pretty good snooker lately, but here i was playing like a noob in front of kenneth, dunnno if he was laughing at me deep down, ''you call this good?'' Oh man i felt so stupid playing so lousily, maybe its cause its kenneth, i never play well when kenneth and wei zhou are there, they give me really really lots of pressure. Then i played pool with teck, haiya, so much more relaxed, lol, i just playing a fool with teck.

I made my way to church after that, but i was certain i wouldn't enjoy it. Did i ever mention there are two modes i frequently switch to, the school mode and the church mode, and recently i've been looking forward to school so much, owing to water and stuff like that, and of course, my friends. But when i got there a different group of friends took hold of me once more, and i really enjoyed myself, haha. Then xl saw my class photo in my bag! And everybody started pleading my to let them see it, but i refused lol, i loook really stupid! Lol, everyone! When you receive the yearbook, tear out my face! lol, haha, i soo don't look like myself, haiya, i loook stupid every year, but i promise i won't next year! lol

And so i met with pei fen and we went through a lot of stuff, and i asked about the other churches and i understand why so many of my friends, classmates go to them, but are never really on about it, in fact, most of the Christians in school are like these. Its the new age churches, the ones that really attract teens. The ones that are held in big auditoriums, the ones with loud blarring music, and really hyper people jumping around, this gets the teens in the mood. Teens like this, don't they? And its in english, pf told me about our dying chinese batch, and i'm proud to be part of it. About those that require its members to speak in tongue, which is not realyl correct, about many others that aren't really right. I noticed a trend in all these churches, from my friends, they backslide really easily. Firstly, these people feel really passionate, really really high on sundays, where they sing really loudly, happily and enjoy themselves, they daresay loudly, they proclaim their love, but from monday to saturday, this feelings go down and they revert to their old lifestyle. Think! Does that happen to you? especially in those hyper churches. The activity might actually excite and interest you but i guess its not spritually enriching, because it only lasts for a day! That's why i've been learning about several friends backsliding, and another reason is also because this thing attracts teens, and because it does, teens are usually the ones who leads other teens, but i feel, sometimes, doing stuff like this, a certain level of maturity needs to be reached, the age difference should be much wider. Further than the warmth care and love i feel, which could make me grow. That was why i never enjoyed it in shi xiong's church, firstly cause i wasn't used to it, secondly because i felt shi xiong was just enjoying the hyperactivity and stuff, thirdly because speaking in tongue really freaked me out.

I mean, no one ever told me speaking in tongue was wrong, but i just had the hunch, the gut feeling that, hey, this dude's freaking me out! I don't think it's because i am new, i felt ultra uncomfortable about it, and i was right when i asked pf. We have to be careful about the true meanings, many things pop out these days that divide Christianity, different sorts of churches, but do they really help? From my point of view they do, on sundays only, take a good look around!




In times of confusion, falsities arise to trick the hearts of Man.

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