Why do birds sing so gay?
Thursday, a good day, but its not a really good day because on normal thursdays, i have to head home early for my piano lessons, but not this thursday!! Well yeah, today i'm supposed to have my piano exams so its a different thursday compared to a normal thursday, lol. Ok, so i got to school and everyone was busy studying physics during the reading period, and i was busy studying bach in his baroque period and mozart in the classical period, a load of nonsense, its stupid to have to guess the composer of whatever piece i listen to, but i still tried my best to remember them anyway. Usually, by now, my stomach would be hurting real real bad, real real bad, remembering my past year, one week before the exams i could feel the heat of the burning furnace, and the thousands of cute butterflies fluttering about happily at the expense of my uneasiness, how mean these butterflies are! Well, i've said it before, and i'll say again, i'm trying to find calmness amidst anxiety, trying to learn to forget fear, i hate that feeling okay, everyone does, and whenever the feeling goes away, you'll feel how stupid you were, worrying so much and it's all over in a flash.
But today in math lesson, i couldn't help but feel a little anxious, its because in doing math, everyone was concentrating and focussing and just had these things in their minds:
1. Figure out this easy cyclic quad question
2. Figure out other easy cyclic quad questions
3. Figure out all the cyclic quad questions and make ms tuan happy and get thru this lesson
4. Get all done and get some food during recess.
How i wished it was that simple, i tried to make it that simple but the purple grade 5 piano exam pieces book kept catching my attention, and i wandered off thinking about whether i had prepared, then inevitably a few butterflies slipped in, as soon as i felt these butterflies, i immediately shifted my focus, to God, and to songs, and started singing to myself while others were busy solving questions, and of course, a few more extra trips to the toilet, but surprisingly, i was still quite calm.
Then it was recess, didn't eat, so i just stood around looking at others trying to study for physics, i was left alone with nothing to do, except also talk about physics. Then next was physics, lol, then 1130, but i was still wondering why an announcement hadn't been made, i thought my father was still sound asleep at home, but at like 1140 they sent a messenger to escort me to the office. After that my father brought me to eat, then i decided not to get too full in case i vomit in front of the examiner, but we still had much time, so i went home and took an unnecessary bath, and just took 5 mins to practice 1 song, my weakest, the last song.
ok, enough, i'm beginning to sound like phoebe, writing about EVERY SECOND of her life, but this has been an exciting day. Yeah, so i totally kept my mind off the exam, and chatted with my dad on the car, last year, at this time, i was busy praying, and i was soooo anxious, but i was okay, i kept telling my dad not to worry, and he kept saying, so long as you tried your best, don't worry, then i kept asking him why he's saying all these cause i haven't said anything about the piano exam except promising him a distinction, lol.
So uh, it wasn't long before we reached paragon, i was still really relaxed, then headed up, then headed to the piano place. Ah hah, this is the ultra tricky part, in there, surrounded by pianos, examination rooms, a small table and several people there. The staff told us that they had gone out for lunch and would be back soon. Okay, so they're trying to kill me eh? lol, waiting will kill a person, slowly, devouring his patience and his calmness, but i threw that aside, and found yet another factor devouring me, the cold. Lol, in there it was so cold i was totally freezing, but still, miraculously, i found my composure and found myself smiling for some reasons. Well for several moment, i realised: oh no! there's still this and that, and how on earth am i gonna survive the scales when i didn't practice them as much? And appregios? And contrary motion and whatsoever? Then i panicked a little, flipped the book a little, then i realised it wasn't much, and laid back on the chair again.
I'm gonna die, but after i die, my dad promised he'd take me out to play.
So they returned, and the waiting lady asked for my id, i gave and saw that i'll be first, well that's great! I smiled at that, what a confidence booster! I paced around, cause i was bored, okay, my dad asked me why i was getting jumpy, lol, i said since when was i getting jumpy? I was just bored. By now, people should realise, you should start building that confidence wall before the enemy strikes, no use preparing the guns but forsaking the wall, well, i made my wall well, although some of the clay were diluted, lol, and my guns were kinda water guns, okay, i wasn't prepared, i didn't intend to over prepare, i felt prepared though. Its too later, the enemy's at your doorstep. =)
Ah hah, time to disintegrate the enemy, lol, i was holding my handphone and the waiter saw it and told me i couldn't bring it in, so i was like, uhhhhhh, then i handed it to my dad, then walked towards the waiting examiner, but i stopped and ran back again, lol, then i snatched my phone back and switched it off, then i gave my dad the sad eyes and pleaded, "please la, please please, don't on and look around, please please!!!" lol, i was really afraid he'd check here and there and find some stuff, like me saying i love you to robelle (as a sister) lol, i guess he understood, but i still felt uneasy as i walked away... and so i put on my best smile and walked in, haha, greeting the examiner cheerfully, ok, so comes the downhill part. Yeah, so i still felt nothing much, i chose to start on my scales, and lol, i forgot all of em, lol, its not the practice, its the heat of the moment, in that sound proof room, waiting just a second longer makes it feel so ultra awkward, so even if you didn't know how to play, just play rubbish!!! I did, lol, i played wrong notes from the beggining till the end and i felt pretty embarrassed, haha, i just sighed heavily to let the examiner know i'm really afraid, when i'm not really. Well i guess i got some right.
Then the pieces, i figured, since this chap, some well known pianist form britain has seen my ugly side, its time to show him some skill, lol, so i tried to play really well, with as much likeliness as possible to the cd they provided, and i'm pretty glad it went smoothly, only the third song. And i realised the book holder thing was so low, i hit my hand against it several times while playing, lol. The third song is a really fast song, lasting for barely under a min, i played it so fast, i relied on my fingers and memory, until i jumbled up some keys, and i looked up at my score, lol, i realised i didn't even know where was i, so that was a little difficult, loooking around for my last note, and remember, every silent second invites one extra giant butterfly into your tummy, well i did finish the song eventually.
Next was sight reading, i'm glad to say i did pretty well, maybe because i'm usually lazy to practice my exam stuff at home and i always wander to play other nice new songs, and i did it pretty smoothly. Lol, now comes the really embarassing part, the singing. lol, remembering last year, the examiner gave me so high a note i couldn't even reach it and sang off tune, and being the boy and having to lalala your way thru is quite embarassing, lol. Well, i did it easily and realised i had VIBRATO!!! Lol, afterward i joked with my father ( lucky vibratoer) that i did a vibrato, but only because i was so afraid my voice vibrated..lol.... once again, i'd like to clarify that fact that i wasn't afraid, just tense. Cause you're supposed to sing alone, without the help of the piano, just the first note give, so in that sound proof room, so quiet, not even the sound of air and wind could be heard, just plain silence, and your voice, and the examiner's keen ears, wouldn't you be tense? I was, and i vibrated..lol
So that was about it, the last awkward part being the clapping of the rhythm, sounded so stupid, and yeah, paused several times to give the examiner a huh? and a puzzled look when he asked me a question and errrr, several more times, before being unable to withstand the anti sound room pressure and giving a guessed answer. Then after that, i was released, woohoo!!
lol, when i came out, i was even boreder, lol, i was kinda unimpressed cause its all over!!! That was all anxiety did to me, that was all the harm those butterflies did! I guess it because when you panic, you're scared, when you come out, you're really happy. But here, today, i wasn't panic, i was relaxed, i came out and nothing changed, lol, so i didn't feel specially happy, and i fely very sad cause i expected to feel specially happy but i didn't, haha, the side effects of calmness...I guess it went quite well, i'm sure i can pass, distinction's out of the question! lol, but merit is still possible!! =D
Well after that my dad brought me around to play!!! lol, we went to bras brasah forgot its actual spelling to get some stationery, then i decided to remake my popular card since we were so free, then i hinted to my dad to check out the ping pong tables, and he did, lol, 480 for a table, 9feet. And my dad's really interested, woohoo! haha, my dad's so nice to teach me everything he's so good at, and i beat him when i learn them, and he wouldn't be number one anymore, but he doesn't mind. Like foosball, or table soccer, my dad's really one great table soccer player, i've seen him thrash EVERYONE, 3 on 1s, everyone!! Lol, i always admired him, and that time at the warehouse where we bought the table, the boss came out and played with him, and lost! lol, and the boss claimed he himself was the best in the company, haha. And as i played with my dad every night, i started really lousy, but i learnt his ways and i can beat him now! Remarkable what practice can do yeah?? lol, my dad still finds it hard to believe he's been dethroned.
But i guess he'll never be dethroned from table tennis, now, that's his passion, could've been a national player but he chose studying lol, and i've seen him disintegrate other ping pong players too! lol, i'm gonna learn his way and beat him, i guess.
Then he brought me to his club and we swam and then we played pool, haha, he was in such a generous mood today, i totally forgot i just did my piano exams after that, haiya, i had so much fun while the guys in sch had to suffer two tests, lol. I feel so guilty.
When i got home i headed to the piano room to play and for the first time i could play a piece alone, without my exam pieces. I don't ever want to see that grade 5 book again, i wanna see a grade 6 one, oh please! =)
It's over, more will come.
But today in math lesson, i couldn't help but feel a little anxious, its because in doing math, everyone was concentrating and focussing and just had these things in their minds:
1. Figure out this easy cyclic quad question
2. Figure out other easy cyclic quad questions
3. Figure out all the cyclic quad questions and make ms tuan happy and get thru this lesson
4. Get all done and get some food during recess.
How i wished it was that simple, i tried to make it that simple but the purple grade 5 piano exam pieces book kept catching my attention, and i wandered off thinking about whether i had prepared, then inevitably a few butterflies slipped in, as soon as i felt these butterflies, i immediately shifted my focus, to God, and to songs, and started singing to myself while others were busy solving questions, and of course, a few more extra trips to the toilet, but surprisingly, i was still quite calm.
Then it was recess, didn't eat, so i just stood around looking at others trying to study for physics, i was left alone with nothing to do, except also talk about physics. Then next was physics, lol, then 1130, but i was still wondering why an announcement hadn't been made, i thought my father was still sound asleep at home, but at like 1140 they sent a messenger to escort me to the office. After that my father brought me to eat, then i decided not to get too full in case i vomit in front of the examiner, but we still had much time, so i went home and took an unnecessary bath, and just took 5 mins to practice 1 song, my weakest, the last song.
ok, enough, i'm beginning to sound like phoebe, writing about EVERY SECOND of her life, but this has been an exciting day. Yeah, so i totally kept my mind off the exam, and chatted with my dad on the car, last year, at this time, i was busy praying, and i was soooo anxious, but i was okay, i kept telling my dad not to worry, and he kept saying, so long as you tried your best, don't worry, then i kept asking him why he's saying all these cause i haven't said anything about the piano exam except promising him a distinction, lol.
So uh, it wasn't long before we reached paragon, i was still really relaxed, then headed up, then headed to the piano place. Ah hah, this is the ultra tricky part, in there, surrounded by pianos, examination rooms, a small table and several people there. The staff told us that they had gone out for lunch and would be back soon. Okay, so they're trying to kill me eh? lol, waiting will kill a person, slowly, devouring his patience and his calmness, but i threw that aside, and found yet another factor devouring me, the cold. Lol, in there it was so cold i was totally freezing, but still, miraculously, i found my composure and found myself smiling for some reasons. Well for several moment, i realised: oh no! there's still this and that, and how on earth am i gonna survive the scales when i didn't practice them as much? And appregios? And contrary motion and whatsoever? Then i panicked a little, flipped the book a little, then i realised it wasn't much, and laid back on the chair again.
I'm gonna die, but after i die, my dad promised he'd take me out to play.
So they returned, and the waiting lady asked for my id, i gave and saw that i'll be first, well that's great! I smiled at that, what a confidence booster! I paced around, cause i was bored, okay, my dad asked me why i was getting jumpy, lol, i said since when was i getting jumpy? I was just bored. By now, people should realise, you should start building that confidence wall before the enemy strikes, no use preparing the guns but forsaking the wall, well, i made my wall well, although some of the clay were diluted, lol, and my guns were kinda water guns, okay, i wasn't prepared, i didn't intend to over prepare, i felt prepared though. Its too later, the enemy's at your doorstep. =)
Ah hah, time to disintegrate the enemy, lol, i was holding my handphone and the waiter saw it and told me i couldn't bring it in, so i was like, uhhhhhh, then i handed it to my dad, then walked towards the waiting examiner, but i stopped and ran back again, lol, then i snatched my phone back and switched it off, then i gave my dad the sad eyes and pleaded, "please la, please please, don't on and look around, please please!!!" lol, i was really afraid he'd check here and there and find some stuff, like me saying i love you to robelle (as a sister) lol, i guess he understood, but i still felt uneasy as i walked away... and so i put on my best smile and walked in, haha, greeting the examiner cheerfully, ok, so comes the downhill part. Yeah, so i still felt nothing much, i chose to start on my scales, and lol, i forgot all of em, lol, its not the practice, its the heat of the moment, in that sound proof room, waiting just a second longer makes it feel so ultra awkward, so even if you didn't know how to play, just play rubbish!!! I did, lol, i played wrong notes from the beggining till the end and i felt pretty embarrassed, haha, i just sighed heavily to let the examiner know i'm really afraid, when i'm not really. Well i guess i got some right.
Then the pieces, i figured, since this chap, some well known pianist form britain has seen my ugly side, its time to show him some skill, lol, so i tried to play really well, with as much likeliness as possible to the cd they provided, and i'm pretty glad it went smoothly, only the third song. And i realised the book holder thing was so low, i hit my hand against it several times while playing, lol. The third song is a really fast song, lasting for barely under a min, i played it so fast, i relied on my fingers and memory, until i jumbled up some keys, and i looked up at my score, lol, i realised i didn't even know where was i, so that was a little difficult, loooking around for my last note, and remember, every silent second invites one extra giant butterfly into your tummy, well i did finish the song eventually.
Next was sight reading, i'm glad to say i did pretty well, maybe because i'm usually lazy to practice my exam stuff at home and i always wander to play other nice new songs, and i did it pretty smoothly. Lol, now comes the really embarassing part, the singing. lol, remembering last year, the examiner gave me so high a note i couldn't even reach it and sang off tune, and being the boy and having to lalala your way thru is quite embarassing, lol. Well, i did it easily and realised i had VIBRATO!!! Lol, afterward i joked with my father ( lucky vibratoer) that i did a vibrato, but only because i was so afraid my voice vibrated..lol.... once again, i'd like to clarify that fact that i wasn't afraid, just tense. Cause you're supposed to sing alone, without the help of the piano, just the first note give, so in that sound proof room, so quiet, not even the sound of air and wind could be heard, just plain silence, and your voice, and the examiner's keen ears, wouldn't you be tense? I was, and i vibrated..lol
So that was about it, the last awkward part being the clapping of the rhythm, sounded so stupid, and yeah, paused several times to give the examiner a huh? and a puzzled look when he asked me a question and errrr, several more times, before being unable to withstand the anti sound room pressure and giving a guessed answer. Then after that, i was released, woohoo!!
lol, when i came out, i was even boreder, lol, i was kinda unimpressed cause its all over!!! That was all anxiety did to me, that was all the harm those butterflies did! I guess it because when you panic, you're scared, when you come out, you're really happy. But here, today, i wasn't panic, i was relaxed, i came out and nothing changed, lol, so i didn't feel specially happy, and i fely very sad cause i expected to feel specially happy but i didn't, haha, the side effects of calmness...I guess it went quite well, i'm sure i can pass, distinction's out of the question! lol, but merit is still possible!! =D
Well after that my dad brought me around to play!!! lol, we went to bras brasah forgot its actual spelling to get some stationery, then i decided to remake my popular card since we were so free, then i hinted to my dad to check out the ping pong tables, and he did, lol, 480 for a table, 9feet. And my dad's really interested, woohoo! haha, my dad's so nice to teach me everything he's so good at, and i beat him when i learn them, and he wouldn't be number one anymore, but he doesn't mind. Like foosball, or table soccer, my dad's really one great table soccer player, i've seen him thrash EVERYONE, 3 on 1s, everyone!! Lol, i always admired him, and that time at the warehouse where we bought the table, the boss came out and played with him, and lost! lol, and the boss claimed he himself was the best in the company, haha. And as i played with my dad every night, i started really lousy, but i learnt his ways and i can beat him now! Remarkable what practice can do yeah?? lol, my dad still finds it hard to believe he's been dethroned.
But i guess he'll never be dethroned from table tennis, now, that's his passion, could've been a national player but he chose studying lol, and i've seen him disintegrate other ping pong players too! lol, i'm gonna learn his way and beat him, i guess.
Then he brought me to his club and we swam and then we played pool, haha, he was in such a generous mood today, i totally forgot i just did my piano exams after that, haiya, i had so much fun while the guys in sch had to suffer two tests, lol. I feel so guilty.
When i got home i headed to the piano room to play and for the first time i could play a piece alone, without my exam pieces. I don't ever want to see that grade 5 book again, i wanna see a grade 6 one, oh please! =)
It's over, more will come.
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