Undaunted
This week has been a week full of failures, setbacks, recoveries, achievements, and enlightenments. Lots and lots of it. It has been a very very very good week because of failures, and achievements.
Of course, the first failure is my Spa. For my blindness, and carelessness. That's still something small. And i learnt a small lesson from it. Throughout the week i've failed in lots of stuff! Haha, i've failed chinese finally, i've failed eh i forgot. Well yeah, the biggest was my shock piano theory failure on thursday. Indeed i was still as confident as ever, i smiled at my teacher asking her if i passed, she told me i didn't. So i stunned for as long as 20 minutes, staring at my paper in deep thought, and she kept talking and talking and i didn't make a sound. She said i have to buck up for the reexam in march. I then asked her what made her think i can pass if i've already failed. I then walked off like a cool guy, act cool of course. Ya, its true la, how on earth can i pass again if she teaches me? Sammie has taught me all that i've never known before, and i thought i'd definitely pass with her help, because for all your info, my teacher can't teach well. I honestly cannot learn things from her. Its not an excuse, i really can't.
Well then ya i talked to xl and i was really very down la, how come this week i'm tested by a long bout of setbacks. And its really for the whole week, no matter how much i pick myself up and be happy, i'm still unable to advance, yet i continue to retreat. And i know, and i've been looking forward to many setbacks like this, because i've heard from many about such things that happen. Tests of faith. And i did understand, from the phonecall, that i haven't given it all up into the hands of God. Complacency. Ah, i'm a mere powerless human! I thought i could do it all myself. And i realise i couldn't.
And of course, the stamping out of the seed of pool. No, its not entirely bad, but ultimately, the environment isn't the best. In fact, i feel rather down lots of times when i play it. After all, how long can i radiate light at places where its dark? Even if i am not consumed by the bad environment, i'll gradually feel weaker anyway. So the conclusion after months of brainwashing everybody, pool, isn't the best of sports. Because of the culture that it comes with. Approximately 2 years ago, i discovered what i thought would be take up a big portion of my life. I know realise it only too a big portion of my pocket! How many thousands have the few of us spent on pool? Thousands. I've worked my way to the top. It's been a long journey. Full of late home goings, pocket burnings, and pool, has largely built up that pride of mine. Which is, extremely dangerous. And i've had my glorious moments, winning veterans, beating gangsters, senious, youths, old people, young people, boys, men, women.. Of course, i have to write a lot about this, for a large moment of my life, it was all about pool.
You've all seen my previous blog posts, all about how excited i am. It really has been a good time. Satisfying what men wants most to satisfy. Achievements, superiority over others, pride. Its been good, yes. How i've always said i'm always surprised how come this group of young guns can pick up so many skills. Honestly, it has been rather spine-thrilling adventures. It's just like some fighting anime, and they spar with dunno who all the time, thrilling and nerve wrecking, that's why it's been great fun. Because we, or rather me, feel that wow! in this large world of pool, i'm a force to be reckoned with! And we grew to become the best in the school. That meant a lot to me, like i'm a small fry being noticed. I'm a weed to others, a needle, a stone in the shoe, a FORCE to be reckoned with. I'm not just an ordinary stranger some pool guy walks past and doesn't bat an eyelid over. I, and we, are people whom strangers notice, look at, analyse, learn from, and worry about. We, become their worries, we, aren't small children, we show them they aren't the best. That's what made me love it, superiority over others. I love for people to have that thought, ''this small boy is good! he makes me look funny out here!'' Its because i'm still young and small, that we upset people. That's what kept me going.
However, is isn't the best ultimately. It isn't even the game i can play. A game for me, such an emotional person, how can i excel here? It depends on my mood! I had to have a lot of favourable conditions in order for me to play well on a certain day. And sometimes, these conditions aren't offered.
And i've stopped! The shark of Tpa, the rosemary of tpa, the first student to be offered the postion of master ( a little bragging before i quit! haha) The most uninvolved, unenthusiastic, fun-spoiling member, the trendsetter of the Tpa. I leave tpa, i leave this ''brotherhood'' Though i've quit, i will not consider myself to be an outsider to the Tpa. darren still bows to me when he sees me, wei zhou still asks me when he can. But i leave behind my legacy, the trends i've set, of the woman's (more often practiced by woman) leg cross. The rootbeer (2nd most popular to green tea) The power break, the power screw. I thank the master of tpa for imparting these things to me. Though it has burned a clear hole in my pocket. And how sure can you say i've quit? Because i was eating with yh at lorong 8 and saw them, and they were headed to safra, without my knowing. That means, the tpa has given up on calling me. That seed that was planted 2 years back, had become a weed to me, although they had tried hard to water it and shower love and sunlight upon it, i saw it as weed, and i refused to fertilize it as often as i could. I knew long ago it was weed, however, i couldn't have the heart to pluck it out! It was planted by my good friends. And it did bring happiness, to the passing strangers who saw it in my yard, they saw a beautiful rose. But i saw it as a weed. And i've finally removed it. The strangers have nothing to see, the ''brotherhood'' has left me behind. Though, there're still scars of a thorny rose growing in that patch of soil. And that, is the legacy i've left. The people i've won, the trends i've set, the glory i've brought. If tpa should ever go national one day, haha, i only hope i'll be in wei zhou's hall of fame.
Friday was a relatively good day. And i really realised and was thankful for having many thinkers around me, ray.. yuan hong. Though i did overhear how ray attacked my religion on thurs or wed (no offense). Though sometimes i feel angry, feel sad, for they are my friends, feel hurt. And i know, that that's many that we have to face. But i did realise, they strengthen our faith. I wouldn't like to use challenging my faith. Rather, they strengthen it. And i did thank ray. Because of the questions they pose that i can't answer due to the lack of knowledge, i find them out. And therefore, it strengthens. I am beginning to understand many things i couldn't understand why, though i knew there was a reason. Headed to church straight after school. Sc! Rather quiet sc. Same old derrick. I miss the days when the church is swarming with macpherson primary kids, and all chasing that ball (floorball/street bandy). The numbers have lessened. To 1? After that i met xl and we chatted all the way till 9. haha
Well today's sushi making! Ah, i woke up so early to study cause ziling wanted me to meet them at amk mrt station, and i had to study if not my mum would go mad. And the program was alright. Did lots of work. And grace's brother is soo cute! haha. I dont' know, he can't even speak clearly, cause he'll swallow his words with his laughter when he's just halfway through the sentence. Ya, the sushi making was quite fun. haha. Though i hate to eat sushi, i just made for everyone to eat. tsk tsk, that playful ziling. hhaa. She can't stop bullying me!! I still remember nightour she put that lightstick right into my mouth. When we were washing, she took a bowl of a rice solution, and tried to scare me by pretending to pour it on me. When it did. WHATAIT@U#T)(!826!!! Whaa, the sticky wet rick got on my shorts laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. And she was laughing and apologising away. tskkkk. Then when me and xl went to throw the thrash, it was raining really heavily, and we went all the way to the huge dustbin, yi qian opened it, we threw the thrashbags in, and he slammed it shut. All the dirty dustbin water splashed at uss!#)%*10235812601826[0816!@#%)*!@*#%!!! HOW UNLUCKY CAN I GET!#@%!I%) haha. Yuckckkkk.
Ah, then went home with the guys, but spent most of the home going time with ziling. She's so funny laa. haha, the way she laughs at everything, ''bleaghs'', sticks out her tongue, its all so comical. haha. I have yet to check out what on earth the sesame street character bert looks like, because she insisted that i looked like him, so i told her she looked like a butt ugly martian.haha, she actually boxed me for real today, because i dared her to. She always says something but doesn't do it. And she finally did it! haha.
Ah, the weekend passes by so quickly. There's still sunday! Rejoice!
Of course, the first failure is my Spa. For my blindness, and carelessness. That's still something small. And i learnt a small lesson from it. Throughout the week i've failed in lots of stuff! Haha, i've failed chinese finally, i've failed eh i forgot. Well yeah, the biggest was my shock piano theory failure on thursday. Indeed i was still as confident as ever, i smiled at my teacher asking her if i passed, she told me i didn't. So i stunned for as long as 20 minutes, staring at my paper in deep thought, and she kept talking and talking and i didn't make a sound. She said i have to buck up for the reexam in march. I then asked her what made her think i can pass if i've already failed. I then walked off like a cool guy, act cool of course. Ya, its true la, how on earth can i pass again if she teaches me? Sammie has taught me all that i've never known before, and i thought i'd definitely pass with her help, because for all your info, my teacher can't teach well. I honestly cannot learn things from her. Its not an excuse, i really can't.
Well then ya i talked to xl and i was really very down la, how come this week i'm tested by a long bout of setbacks. And its really for the whole week, no matter how much i pick myself up and be happy, i'm still unable to advance, yet i continue to retreat. And i know, and i've been looking forward to many setbacks like this, because i've heard from many about such things that happen. Tests of faith. And i did understand, from the phonecall, that i haven't given it all up into the hands of God. Complacency. Ah, i'm a mere powerless human! I thought i could do it all myself. And i realise i couldn't.
And of course, the stamping out of the seed of pool. No, its not entirely bad, but ultimately, the environment isn't the best. In fact, i feel rather down lots of times when i play it. After all, how long can i radiate light at places where its dark? Even if i am not consumed by the bad environment, i'll gradually feel weaker anyway. So the conclusion after months of brainwashing everybody, pool, isn't the best of sports. Because of the culture that it comes with. Approximately 2 years ago, i discovered what i thought would be take up a big portion of my life. I know realise it only too a big portion of my pocket! How many thousands have the few of us spent on pool? Thousands. I've worked my way to the top. It's been a long journey. Full of late home goings, pocket burnings, and pool, has largely built up that pride of mine. Which is, extremely dangerous. And i've had my glorious moments, winning veterans, beating gangsters, senious, youths, old people, young people, boys, men, women.. Of course, i have to write a lot about this, for a large moment of my life, it was all about pool.
You've all seen my previous blog posts, all about how excited i am. It really has been a good time. Satisfying what men wants most to satisfy. Achievements, superiority over others, pride. Its been good, yes. How i've always said i'm always surprised how come this group of young guns can pick up so many skills. Honestly, it has been rather spine-thrilling adventures. It's just like some fighting anime, and they spar with dunno who all the time, thrilling and nerve wrecking, that's why it's been great fun. Because we, or rather me, feel that wow! in this large world of pool, i'm a force to be reckoned with! And we grew to become the best in the school. That meant a lot to me, like i'm a small fry being noticed. I'm a weed to others, a needle, a stone in the shoe, a FORCE to be reckoned with. I'm not just an ordinary stranger some pool guy walks past and doesn't bat an eyelid over. I, and we, are people whom strangers notice, look at, analyse, learn from, and worry about. We, become their worries, we, aren't small children, we show them they aren't the best. That's what made me love it, superiority over others. I love for people to have that thought, ''this small boy is good! he makes me look funny out here!'' Its because i'm still young and small, that we upset people. That's what kept me going.
However, is isn't the best ultimately. It isn't even the game i can play. A game for me, such an emotional person, how can i excel here? It depends on my mood! I had to have a lot of favourable conditions in order for me to play well on a certain day. And sometimes, these conditions aren't offered.
And i've stopped! The shark of Tpa, the rosemary of tpa, the first student to be offered the postion of master ( a little bragging before i quit! haha) The most uninvolved, unenthusiastic, fun-spoiling member, the trendsetter of the Tpa. I leave tpa, i leave this ''brotherhood'' Though i've quit, i will not consider myself to be an outsider to the Tpa. darren still bows to me when he sees me, wei zhou still asks me when he can. But i leave behind my legacy, the trends i've set, of the woman's (more often practiced by woman) leg cross. The rootbeer (2nd most popular to green tea) The power break, the power screw. I thank the master of tpa for imparting these things to me. Though it has burned a clear hole in my pocket. And how sure can you say i've quit? Because i was eating with yh at lorong 8 and saw them, and they were headed to safra, without my knowing. That means, the tpa has given up on calling me. That seed that was planted 2 years back, had become a weed to me, although they had tried hard to water it and shower love and sunlight upon it, i saw it as weed, and i refused to fertilize it as often as i could. I knew long ago it was weed, however, i couldn't have the heart to pluck it out! It was planted by my good friends. And it did bring happiness, to the passing strangers who saw it in my yard, they saw a beautiful rose. But i saw it as a weed. And i've finally removed it. The strangers have nothing to see, the ''brotherhood'' has left me behind. Though, there're still scars of a thorny rose growing in that patch of soil. And that, is the legacy i've left. The people i've won, the trends i've set, the glory i've brought. If tpa should ever go national one day, haha, i only hope i'll be in wei zhou's hall of fame.
Friday was a relatively good day. And i really realised and was thankful for having many thinkers around me, ray.. yuan hong. Though i did overhear how ray attacked my religion on thurs or wed (no offense). Though sometimes i feel angry, feel sad, for they are my friends, feel hurt. And i know, that that's many that we have to face. But i did realise, they strengthen our faith. I wouldn't like to use challenging my faith. Rather, they strengthen it. And i did thank ray. Because of the questions they pose that i can't answer due to the lack of knowledge, i find them out. And therefore, it strengthens. I am beginning to understand many things i couldn't understand why, though i knew there was a reason. Headed to church straight after school. Sc! Rather quiet sc. Same old derrick. I miss the days when the church is swarming with macpherson primary kids, and all chasing that ball (floorball/street bandy). The numbers have lessened. To 1? After that i met xl and we chatted all the way till 9. haha
Well today's sushi making! Ah, i woke up so early to study cause ziling wanted me to meet them at amk mrt station, and i had to study if not my mum would go mad. And the program was alright. Did lots of work. And grace's brother is soo cute! haha. I dont' know, he can't even speak clearly, cause he'll swallow his words with his laughter when he's just halfway through the sentence. Ya, the sushi making was quite fun. haha. Though i hate to eat sushi, i just made for everyone to eat. tsk tsk, that playful ziling. hhaa. She can't stop bullying me!! I still remember nightour she put that lightstick right into my mouth. When we were washing, she took a bowl of a rice solution, and tried to scare me by pretending to pour it on me. When it did. WHATAIT@U#T)(!826!!! Whaa, the sticky wet rick got on my shorts laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. And she was laughing and apologising away. tskkkk. Then when me and xl went to throw the thrash, it was raining really heavily, and we went all the way to the huge dustbin, yi qian opened it, we threw the thrashbags in, and he slammed it shut. All the dirty dustbin water splashed at uss!#)%*10235812601826[0816!@#%)*!@*#%!!! HOW UNLUCKY CAN I GET!#@%!I%) haha. Yuckckkkk.
Ah, then went home with the guys, but spent most of the home going time with ziling. She's so funny laa. haha, the way she laughs at everything, ''bleaghs'', sticks out her tongue, its all so comical. haha. I have yet to check out what on earth the sesame street character bert looks like, because she insisted that i looked like him, so i told her she looked like a butt ugly martian.haha, she actually boxed me for real today, because i dared her to. She always says something but doesn't do it. And she finally did it! haha.
Ah, the weekend passes by so quickly. There's still sunday! Rejoice!
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